This and that

My niece

My other niece

My sister

My brother

My Nephew

Some days are just hard

I am different. My husband and I will be celebrating 9 years of marriage this month. It has been a wonderful marriage and we continue to seriously fall more in love. We both long for children in our lives. It is not a desire to be complete or make our family complete but because simply we love children and know that God has placed that desire into our hearts. Every time I take a step toward receiving fertility help God says NO. I know that the Lord has this in His hands but some days I feel like his hands are closed so tightly that it may never happen. Those are the hard days. Seriously I am fine most days. I have the hope of the Lord in my life. There is so much to be thankful for and so many people to love. This is the story. When Pete and I got married we said a prayer, asking God to be in control of our marriage and the children that we would have. We have never used any form of birth control and no form of fertility treatment.( Although many times I have been tempted to pursue fertility treatment) I just don't know what to do some days... you know the days when it is hard. The problem is that on those days when I think about being without children it makes me think that I am a failure in other aspects of life. Like God am I not serving you right, do I not pray enough, do I watch the wrong things, do I say the wrong things, have my feet journeyed somewhere that you do not approve? Is my time serving in ministry insufficient? Those questions are heavy ones for me and even though I know that answers, even though I know it is not me earning anything in life, they still weigh heavy on my heart. Last week made 2 years that we lost our baby by miscarriage. I don't even remember what it felt like to be pregnant. I don't even have that. I look around and see all of these dead beat moms with their beautiful children in foster care and they seem to have absolutely no problem popping kids out. Why? My mom told me once that it was because I have allowed God to be in control of my life and He knows when it is best for me to have a child. She is right but it is hardly comfort on those days. I know I should not feel this way but I am only human. The Bible gives us several stories of infertility. I can identify with Sarah, Hannah, Elizabeth, and Rachel. I know their pain. I know that like them my pain will end in joy. So on the hard days I remember the scripture that God led me to:
Psalm 113:9
He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD.


One day the hard days will end. Until then I will look to God for my comfort and press into his presence for wisdom and strength.

Mattae's birthday

Mattae is my neice and I love her very much. We got to celebrate her birthday over the weekend and she was so excited. She was so happy with her presents and that everybody showed up. We partied for about three hours and had a great time.

Mattae and her momma!

Blowing out candles...trick candles :)

Fireworks !!!

Happy Birthday "Taya"

New River Fun

During Pete's vacation we refloored mom's bathroom, he went fishing, we took Mikey and Amy to the New River Gorge Bridge, and went shopping. We wanted to go to the beach but seeing that I am still unemployed a big trip was not feasable.

Group pic at New River overlook

It was such a beautiful day! We had a great time!

Look Who can ride a bike, without training wheels....!

It's Tyler Matthew Keck! My nephew learned how to ride his bike without training wheels this weekend! Of course I got the opportunity to teach him. Yippee!

UNemployed

Being unemployed is the opposite of being EMployed. That is where I am right now. I was laid off due to lack of work available in my company on Friday the 12th. I signed up on unemployment on Monday and babysat for my old boss yesterday. I know that God is taking care of me financially and that this in many ways this is His hand in my life. I will continue to praise Him and believe in Him with every ounce of my being. To God be the glory for the things that He has done. Maybe I will have more time to blog... LOL! I will keep you posted.
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Today do as St. Patrick and spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Leading all men to the salvation that only Christ can give!

Being THIRTEEN

I can remember only some things about  being 13. I was in 7th grade and crushing on boys were a priority. My little sister turned 13 last week and we celebrated with a party at the local pizza parlor. There were so many that showed up to celebrate my little sis that there were not enough chairs in the restaurant to accomodate the crowd. The mixture of family and friends brought so much joy to her. She racked up on the gifts went home with a whole new wardrobe. Amy has always had a special presence. People are drawn to her and her crooked smile and rosey cheeks. When she was little she made such an impression on all that met her. She definitely stole my heart. I know that life is going to hit her full speed and she is growing up in an era of Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, blogging, and cellphones where she will encounter many different challenges from what I experienced; but she will have one consistant thing that has been consistant throughout the ages. She will have Jesus Christ. I will make sure that she knows him, loves him, depends on him and lives for him. I know that all of the trials that life has brought to me have always been overcome by the blood of the lamb. God has been so good to me and I know that he will be the same for Miss Amy. Through her crushes and heart aches, her friends that come and go, and the rebellion of a teenager I know that God will always be there for her to lean on and find comfort when things seem impossible. He will also be there to praise when life is at its best and battles have been won. Being a Christian at 13 is the best part of it all.